OK, you guys have to explain this to me.
I try to write thoughtful, sometimes controversial, humorous and hopefully entertaining posts. Some are serious, some are fluff.
So I’m checking my blog stats and this is what I see:
My top viewed post is “I am the father of Anna Nicole’s baby.”
The post is poorly written, nonsense and lacks any humor. It is one of the lamest posts I have ever created (except for that one post I made to my blog in ’69 when I was on that bad acid trip.)
Why are so many people reading that particular post?
Now that I have another Anna Nicole Smith post maybe this one will end up being the most read post. Who knows.
February 16, 2007 at 3:21 pm
What is up with that?
People just love controversy, famous (?) people, tragedy and ick.
All that stuff is in the bible, maybe they should read that?
There has got to be a parallel story in the old test. somewhere.
I’m being convicted by your marital posts,
krislinatin
February 16, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Kris,
I think Jacob and Esau are an approximate fit–Jacob steals the inheritance via fraud, Esau grabs many wives to appeal to his father, Rebecca goes behind her husband’s back.
Nothing new under the sun.
Re: Marital Posts
No one has yet to tell me why a husband saying “I will give you all the attention and help you desire once you prove to me you want to make love to me” is any different than a wife saying “I will have sex with you once you prove to me you will help wash some dishes.”
Am I missing something?
February 16, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Kevin, it’s the same reason that no matter what I post, I get the most hits for the stupid posts I put up about crotch shots. It pissed me off at first, that any title implying raunch or celebrity shame gets attention while truly witty posts don’t but then I decided to use it to my advantage.
Take for example my post about Tara Connor’s crotch shots. There aren’t any, but countless people visit every day, looking for them. They find a page that tells them they don’t exist and to get over it.
Same thing with my friend over at mamVISION. She told a story from her modeling days, called the post “I accidentally posed nude.” Within hours, that post was the #1 post of all and her blog the #1 blog at WordPress for about three days. It freaked her out. Within a day or so, she had thirty thousand hits.
It’s a statement on what people online are really spending their time looking for and reading; anything raunchy and/or sex related, and celebrity crap.
Sheesh.
February 16, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Oy… the sex thing really has you in a flap? LOL.
I don’t advocate the whole “make a deal” spin you have on it. I was just trying to say that when men don’t show affection and care; when men don’t help out and when men treat their partner like a servant… it ruins the desire the woman has to have sex with him.
I’m just saying that the relationship should be a right one… and that sex will happen if it is. If the relationship is not right, then sex won’t happen and they should figure out how to fix the relationship rather than make deals about sex.
Am I not being clear or what?
This is scaring me about you now. If you counsel people but aren’t able to understand any view about this but your own… how can you help people?
Help me out here and I’ll do my best to be more clear or whatever you need to understand what I’m saying, okay?
February 16, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Fracas,
First, I do understand. I understand exactly. I happen to disagree. It’s OK that I disagree.
You seem to think the only couples who are not having sex are the ones where the husband is inconsiderate. That’s just not the case.
After counseling couples for years I assure you that your image of “if the relationship is right sex will happen.” Is just not reality in most of the couples who have come to me for counsel over the years.
In almost all cases where the couple is not having an active sex life the wife readily admits her husband is caring and supportive, helps with the house and kids, splits the household responsibilities equitably. Yet, often the wife is unwilling to carry on a meaningful sexual relationship with her partner.
Typically when asked these women will point to one or more of a number of factors. In some cases there was previous abuse. With those women we help them work through the abuse so she can be sexually expressive with her husband. In some cases there is a physical problem—just being nervous about sex can cause a woman pain during intercourse. Sometimes it is a religious misconception. Sometimes it is a body image problem.
But in many cases the women have been told so often they shouldn’t be expected to have regular sex with their spouse they simply use that as an excuse for not dealing with whatever issues are keeping them from sex. The types of things I have read this week certainly reinforce that idea.
The reason I chose to make an issue of this and present an opposite view is women (and some men) need to understand a sexless or virtually sexless marriage is not normal. It’s a recipe for resentment, anger and often divorce or infidelity.
Spouses need to understand their responsibility to their partner. Even Paul seemed to get this.
February 16, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I think i might regret this, and i may be re-stating stuff other people have said, (please be easy on me when replying)
but regarding:
No one has yet to tell me why a husband saying “I will give you all the attention and help you desire once you prove to me you want to make love to me” is any different than a wife saying “I will have sex with you once you prove to me you will help wash some dishes.”
its not any different, its selfish, when someone states that they want what they want first then the partner will get what they desire. its putting self first. and thats not a good marriage. and its sin.
obviously we know men and women are created different. Women=emotional,
men=physical, In the love/sex department. thats what feeds us.
In a good marriage both understand the needs of the other and try to accommodate each other.
God created us like that and God created sex within marriage and God knew what He doing, right? so, if are marriage is running right and under God then we should be having sex.
does any of this make sense?
Now, personally, i have used sex as a weapon, or ‘not having sex’ as a weapon, if any women says she hasn’t, i really really question that.
But, anyway, personally, its sin because i have been mad at my hubby and not forgiven him and been mad at him (because i was thinking of myself being offended by him in whatever way he did at the time) and let the sun go down on my anger and held resentment, so the marriage (bed) is defiled, because there is no sex. when he desired it.
i could justify and reason away why i dont give him sex, but its all selfish and sinful.
this next statement is so true and what is convicting me lately ~
”The reason I chose to make an issue of this and present an opposite view is women (and some men) need to understand a sexless or virtually sexless marriage is not normal. It’s a recipe for resentment, anger and often divorce or infidelity.”
This is so true – Its not what God intended for us in marriage.
my hubby takes very good care of me, helps around the house, lets me be a home engineer, never denies me anything, but alas, our sex life isnt that good, oh wait, its good when we have it, we just don’t have it very often, and its my fault!
Now after reading this, i am really ashamed of myself for being so selfish and i pray often to have a desire for my hubby. (is that silly?)
I just hope i can be a better wife and that my hubby is a Godly hubby who will stick by his hopeless wife until she gets more sanctified
phew, kristina
February 16, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Wow, thanks for sharing so openly. That takes guts.
And I kinda wonder if your husband might disagree about you being selfish or hopeless. I suspect he likely has the opposite opinion.
Thanks again for sharing.
February 16, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Ok Kevin. I think I was maybe conversing with blinders on? I guess our opinions are sometimes crafted by the people we know in life. I honestly don’t have any friends dealing with the issue from any point other than the one I raised (and I’ve seen quite a bit of it to be honest) but I see what you’re saying. I also realize perhaps I might not be privy to such information about my friends so I’m willing to agree to what you’ve just posted.
I guess I was so hyper-focusing on thinking you didn’t understand me… that I didn’t think enough about what you were saying. Either that or maybe it’s because of what mal said… you know… me being a woman and all, and you trying to have a conversation with me. Rotfl.
You’re right though. The reasons you just listed are extremely sad. If a woman is burying feelings like that, it’s not just the marriage that will suffer; ultimately she will suffer personal meltdown as well.
I stand educated. I will try broaden my views.