Over at Simple Minded Preacher I caught this post about “The Call.” While his point was more about marriage, I wanted to explore the idea of why so many people who feel “called” to ministry end up damaging so many people.
One of the chief characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder is a belief they have a “special purpose” or “high calling.” Some believe they are destined for greatness on the battlefield, as the ideal spouse or parent, as a civic or national leader or spiritual greatness as a religious leader.
One of the things about the church: You can always get a gig.
I may not have the skill to get elected, the talent to be the next American Idol, the consistency and perseverance to be a great parent. But anyone can learn to fake it as a preacher and develop a following—no matter how crazy they seem to most people.
So those who have an “inner need” for greatness to cover their shame, yet lack the maturity to pursue a “real” career, ministry is their Willie Wonka.
Narcissists often can’t see their ambition is often unreasonable, or will result in negative consequence for others. Their deep sense of inner shame forces them to settle for nothing less than greatness. “Average” is their worst enemy.
If you ask a narcissist about “The Call” they will tell you in no uncertain terms they “know” they are called by God to a certain ministry objective or to ministry in general. They will use that subjective “Call” to justify their authority (like Moses and Elijah) or to excuse their totalitarian decision style or to convince others to give “sacrificially” to their “ministry” while they themselves live in opulence.
No matter how obvious their mediocrity is to any neutral observer, many will follow the narcissist (even to their death Rev. Jones) because they feel their own sense of shame and need the absolutes the narcissist provides.
Narcissists do not have an absolute, externally produced value system. They may have a very strong INTERNALLY produced value system and may often use an appeal to the Bible to “prove” the veracity and authority of their belief system.
In addition they will do all they can to place themselves above accountability and criticism. Their ego is so fragile they can’t handle it. So they either become the sole authority in an organization or they surround themselves with others who have a weaker will who will function as a rubber stamp while giving the appearance of accountability.
Narcissists love to be able to appoint their accountability partners and “board” while appealing to scriptures about Jesus picking the 12 or similar. “God has shown me” or “God has raised up” followed by a list of leaders the narcissist has chosen are common in this type of organization.
But truly the narcissist Emperor has no clothes.
Here are some things every Christian should know what the New Testament teaches about the early church:
While many people were “sent” to preach the Gospel to others, only a very few (12 or 13 depending on whether Matthias is a “true apostle” or not) had the actual position of Apostle. You will find debate on this topic because others both in and out of scripture are called apostles, but it is clear from Acts 1 that the original 11 (12 minus Judass) saw the position of Apostle as different than simply being “sent out” and as requiring 12 people.
Regardless, your pastor does not have Apostolic authority today, despite what he says.
In the early church many prophesied (preached) at a given meeting. These people were regular folks who shared as they believed God called them to share.
Paul believed in local “Elders” in the church. It seems he saw them as the body helping seek God for The Body. Plural. Accountable, it just takes two witnesses.
The Bible teaches clearly you do NOT need anyone to teach you—the Holy Spirit (our invisible friend) is enough. Most ministers are reluctant to preach this. What makes you think a 40 year old guy has enough experience and wisdom to be your life coach in everything from parenting to weight loss? Let alone pastors who are 25 or 30?
The Bible tells us clearly we are not to worry about numbers of followers but to instead realize most of the “followers” are, in fact, non-believers. The pastors who stress numbers seem to be immune to this simple fact.
The best way to test whether you are following a narcissist is this: He’s encouraging you to follow him. If he is, you’re probably in trouble.
