Called by God to Ministry: Narcissists have a Profound Sense of Call

Over at Simple Minded Preacher I caught this post about “The Call.” While his point was more about marriage, I wanted to explore the idea of why so many people who feel “called” to ministry end up damaging so many people.

One of the chief characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder is a belief they have a “special purpose” or “high calling.” Some believe they are destined for greatness on the battlefield, as the ideal spouse or parent, as a civic or national leader or spiritual greatness as a religious leader.

One of the things about the church: You can always get a gig.

I may not have the skill to get elected, the talent to be the next American Idol, the consistency and perseverance to be a great parent. But anyone can learn to fake it as a preacher and develop a following—no matter how crazy they seem to most people.

So those who have an “inner need” for greatness to cover their shame, yet lack the maturity to pursue a “real” career, ministry is their Willie Wonka.

Narcissists often can’t see their ambition is often unreasonable, or will result in negative consequence for others. Their deep sense of inner shame forces them to settle for nothing less than greatness. “Average” is their worst enemy.

If you ask a narcissist about “The Call” they will tell you in no uncertain terms they “know” they are called by God to a certain ministry objective or to ministry in general. They will use that subjective “Call” to justify their authority (like Moses and Elijah) or to excuse their totalitarian decision style or to convince others to give “sacrificially” to their “ministry” while they themselves live in opulence.

No matter how obvious their mediocrity is to any neutral observer, many will follow the narcissist (even to their death Rev. Jones) because they feel their own sense of shame and need the absolutes the narcissist provides.

Narcissists do not have an absolute, externally produced value system. They may have a very strong INTERNALLY produced value system and may often use an appeal to the Bible to “prove” the veracity and authority of their belief system.

In addition they will do all they can to place themselves above accountability and criticism. Their ego is so fragile they can’t handle it. So they either become the sole authority in an organization or they surround themselves with others who have a weaker will who will function as a rubber stamp while giving the appearance of accountability.

Narcissists love to be able to appoint their accountability partners and “board” while appealing to scriptures about Jesus picking the 12 or similar. “God has shown me” or “God has raised up” followed by a list of leaders the narcissist has chosen are common in this type of organization.

But truly the narcissist Emperor has no clothes.

Here are some things every Christian should know what the New Testament teaches about the early church:

While many people were “sent” to preach the Gospel to others, only a very few (12 or 13 depending on whether Matthias is a “true apostle” or not) had the actual position of Apostle. You will find debate on this topic because others both in and out of scripture are called apostles, but it is clear from Acts 1 that the original 11 (12 minus Judass) saw the position of Apostle as different than simply being “sent out” and as requiring 12 people.

Regardless, your pastor does not have Apostolic authority today, despite what he says.

In the early church many prophesied (preached) at a given meeting. These people were regular folks who shared as they believed God called them to share.

Paul believed in local “Elders” in the church. It seems he saw them as the body helping seek God for The Body. Plural. Accountable, it just takes two witnesses.

The Bible teaches clearly you do NOT need anyone to teach you—the Holy Spirit (our invisible friend) is enough. Most ministers are reluctant to preach this. What makes you think a 40 year old guy has enough experience and wisdom to be your life coach in everything from parenting to weight loss? Let alone pastors who are 25 or 30?

The Bible tells us clearly we are not to worry about numbers of followers but to instead realize most of the “followers” are, in fact, non-believers. The pastors who stress numbers seem to be immune to this simple fact.

The best way to test whether you are following a narcissist is this: He’s encouraging you to follow him. If he is, you’re probably in trouble.

Go to Church, Win a Car!

Game over. We lost. Everybody can go home.

In the latest example of “Why Johnny Can’t Share His Faith” I bring you the Deliverance Mission Christian Church.

Now before I tell you why we’ve lost the war, let me first say some nice things about DMCC.

First, they want to share the Gospel. They want to tell people how to be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ.

That’s great.

Second, they are willing to put up some cash to get that done. The congregation of 285 has given $12,500 just to share the Gospel with as many people as possible during their revival service this coming Saturday.

Again, that’s commendable.

But here’s the problem: They are wasting their time and money.

DMCC is giving away a 2007 Chevy Aveo to one of their random visitors for their Saturday service. No purchase necessary, must be present to win, void in Washington state and anywhere prohibited by law. See full contest rules for eligibility.

Here’s the pitch: Hear the Gospel and you might just win a car.

So what’s wrong with this (other than it just seems a little odd)?

Simple: That’s not how you share the Gospel. Not today. Not for a long time.

People don’t get saved through mass market preaching. It just isn’t happening.

We no longer live in a world where the basics of the Gospel are unknown to the populace. Pretty much everyone has heard the Gospel and can recite at least the basics. They don’t need more information. They don’t need good marketing. They don’t need raffles or even free giveaways.

What they need is to experience people who love them. Genuinely. From the heart. And they are not seeing it.

285 people (the number of members in the DMCC) represents about 100 families. What if each one of those families just focused on loving everyone they contacted with the love of Christ? Not “sharing the Gospel.” Not “inviting them to church.” Just loving them.

Thousands of lives would be changed over the coming months.

Or, you could just give somebody a car.

Homosexual Christianity - Need Your Input

I have many different types of people who read this blog. Pretty much every sexual orientation: Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Bi, Quad. Most of these folks also have some interest in spirituality–either as a pursuit or to recover from previous religious crap.

So I want your input. All of you.

Here’s the scoop. I have several gay Christian friends. We talk about the Lord; we talk about how hard it is to be accepted in the rural south; we talk about how they feel they either have to hide their orientation or feel unwelcome at their churches.

But there’s one thing we rarely talk about: The Bible.

That’s not because they don’t want to talk about it, it’s me. I don’t want to bring it up. For me the Bible has provided a strong background for learning to love, live and enjoy life with my family and friends.

But here’s the problem: Many of my Christian friends are still fundamentalist Christians. Yup, you heard that right. Being gay doesn’t mean you see the Bible differently. Since I was a pastor for 18 years, they often see me as someone who knows lots about the Bible.

So once in a while one of my friends will ask, “Kevin, how do you explain the passages of scripture dealing with homosexuality in the Bible?”

I have a standard reply: “You’ll have to work that one out yourself.” I know it’s a cop out. I know it’s not much of an answer.

But I want to be able to do better. I want to know what goes on in their minds when they read the Bible.

Can you help me? Here’s what I am looking for…

Let’s first set some ground rules:

1. There is no question the Bible condemns homosexual activity. So we’re going to skip that part of the debate. If you don’t see that you can’t read for comprehension.

2. Sexual orientation is not a choice. While we aren’t sure why some people are attracted to the same sex or even both sexes, it is not a choice we make.

3. Sexual activity IS a choice. I choose to be monogamous. I choose to have sex only in the context of marriage. These are choices. Whether you are hetero or homo any activity you engage in is a choice.

4. Sexual orientation is not a sin. Homosexuality isn’t some kind of “thought crime” against God.

If you can live within those 4 constraints, I would be interested in your input on your faith. Specifically I would be interested to know if you are a Christian, if you agree homosexual behavior is a sin or not, why or why not, how you interpret the Biblical passages. If you’re not a Christian, I want your input too.

Pretty much I just wanna talk about this. I want to be helpful and stop copping out, but I also don’t want to blow it with my friends like some scene from “The Family Stone.”

I Don’t Know Why I Try (or Why Fundies are Fools)

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS NOTHING CLEVER OR HUMOROUS, LUCKILY IT’S SHORT

Ok, so I’m trying to play nice and hang out with some fundies at a forum. I intentionally kept my presence pretty much limited to the “Controversial” forum.

I was discussing how serious we, as Christians, are about science. Specifically, are we willing to self-police Christian websites where lies about science are propagated. The discussion went on for 16 pages or so.

Suddenly we were told the thread was being closed and my last post was deleted.

I have been to many, many forums and blogs. All of the non-Christian blogs I have participated in have never moderated me. I don’t mean they never moderate anyone, but most of the moderation done is because of hate speech, copyright infringement and adult content.

But here’s the funny thing…

With the exception of one website, all of the fundamentalist Christian websites I have visited regularly quash comments that do not adhere to the party line. I wonder if they are worried someone might read a truth they haven’t taught them at Fundy U and end up leaving the Fundy movement.

My mamma always said, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

So how’s ’bout it my Fundy friends (you know who you are Mike Meat, SMP…) why the moderation of dissent?

I know you’re impressed, but it’s Jesus…

So I’m researching a little about a pic I found over at Just Dreadful, and I get to this website and read:

“Our prayer is that all who view this site will realize that we are ordinary people with our individual weaknesses and imperfections but yet we serve an extraordinary GOD who delights in demonstrating His great power!”

(By the way, don’t go to the website unless you have some time to kill—it is the slowest loading website I have ever seen. Apparently one of the weaknesses in which God is glorified is crappy HTML.)

Why is it Christians seem to think we are going to be impressed by them so they have to give an upfront disclaimer? What kind of narcissistic crap is that?

OK, just so you know, here’s is my personal disclaimer lest anyone should think I am more perfect than I really am.

When you come to Whore Church you will be tempted to think I am brilliant. The things I say will be so profound, so obviously yet subtly true, so well worded you will be tempted to think I am a spiritual Einstein. All women and some men will be tempted to see me as the sexiest, most desirable man alive. When you see my opulent billionaire-esq lifestyle you will be tempted to believe I am a completely self-made man. Everyone who visits this blog will be tempted to envy.

But it’s not me, it’s Jesus working in me. I’m just an ordinary, exceptionally handsome, brilliant and rich man. Don’t envy me, envy Jesus.